Subject: E-ZINE: SUPER STUPID SLAMBOOK #5 (AUGUST 1994)

From: [email-masked] (jis)
Date: 15 Aug 1994 09:53:44 -0400

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| %%%%  %%  %% %%%%%  %%%%%% %%%%%     | gUM                    |
|%%%%%% %%  %% %%%%%% %%%%%% %%%%%%    | Masonna interview      |
|%%  %% %%  %% %%  %% %%     %%  %%    | gUM                    |
| %%    %%  %% %%  %% %%     %%  %%    | Pablo picasso          |
|  %%   %%  %% %%%%%% %%%%%  %%%%%%    | cARMEL                 |
|   %%  %%  %% %%%%%  %%     %%%%%     | Fifth column           |
|%%  %% %%  %% %%     %%     %%  %%    | tRAILER QUEEN          |
|%%%%%% %%%%%% %%     %%%%%% %%  %%    | Gum                    |
| %%%%   %%%%  %%     %%%%%% %%  %%    | sTEREOLAB              |
|                                      | Chocolate              |
| %%%%  %%%%%% %%  %% %%%%%  %% %%%%%  | sLEEPYHEAD             |
|%%%%%% %%%%%% %%  %% %%%%%% %% %%%%%% | Lloyd dangle interview |
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|%%%%%% %%     %%%%%% %%% %%% %%%%%% %%%%%% %%%%%% %%  %% | A 1 |
|%%  %% %%     %%  %% %%%%%%% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% | U 9 |
| %%    %%     %%  %% %% % %% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% %% %%  | G 9 |
|  %%   %%     %%%%%% %% % %% %%%%%  %%  %% %%  %% %%%%   | U 4 |
|   %%  %%     %%  %% %%   %% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% %% %%  | S   |
|%%  %% %%     %%  %% %%   %% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% %%  %% | T   |
|%%%%%% %%%%%% %%  %% %%   %% %%%%%% %%%%%% %%%%%% %%  %% |     |
| %%%%  %%%%%% %%  %% %%   %% %%%%%   %%%%   %%%%  %%  %% | #5  |
+---------------------------------------------------------+-----+
|       [ Phooey, I say, on all white-shoe college boys ]       |
|         [ who edit their campus literary magazines. ]         |
|            [ Give me an honest con man any day. ]             |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
     DIRECTIONS:

     1--  Unscrew outer cap.
     2--  Unscrew inner cap with tip.
     3--  Remove plug.
     4--  Screw inner cap back in place tightly.
     5--  Squeeze the container gently and apply zine as required.
     6--  Replace outer cap after use.
     7--  Dried zine on applicator tip or clothing can be rinsed
          off with warm water.

Contains Xylene--Use with adequate ventilation,
     
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     | |_| | (_| | (__|   < 
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| [ E-MAIL ]                                 [ STANDARD MAIL ]  |
| [email-masked]                              P.O. Box 242       |
|                                            Village Station    |
|                                            New York, NY 10014 |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
TITLE: Strong Punch (CANDY)
ARTIST: Bourbon
"With a name like _Strong Punch_, it has to be good."  I can just
picture the marketing campaign for this gum. The name does not lie.
_Strong Punch_ delivers the goods in a BIG way. Ever want to clear
your sinuses, freshen your breath and wake up, all at once? Well
look no further than Strong Punch chewing gum!  The stuff is
powerful enough that after chewing it for only about a minute or
so, you'll be shakin' your head, and grabbing your temples as its
unique properties kick into high gear. Afterwards, you'll be a new
person, fully refreshed and ready to take on the world. Highly
recommended to workaholics and other 24-hour-a-day people who need
an artificial "kick" to keep themselves going.

=================================================================
TITLE: Masonna (PERSON)
ARTIST: Masonna
ADDRESS: Mazo Yamazaki (1-1-4-2E Bainan, Nishinari-Ku, Osaka 557,
JAPAN)
There's more to the Japanese music scene than _Pink Lady and Jeff_,
_Loudness_ and all those horrific genetically cloned idol-singers
like _Hikaru Genji_. Noise exists, and Masonna is a Japanese noise-
nut. Saying anymore would just ruin the interview. Read on fellow
readers.
[Interview and translation by Matt Kaufman, 6/29/94]
[SLAM]    When did you develop an interest in noise?
[MASONNA] When I was a child. I liked the sound of destruction on
          T.V. programs. The sound of a cup shattering when
          dropped. Hitting glass bottles and breaking them. Things
          like that.
[SLAM]    Is the name "Masonna" a play on Madonna?
[MASONNA] Yes. I don't really like it. I want to change my name.
[SLAM]    Where and when was your first live performance as
          Masonna?
[MASONNA] 1991 or 1992 at Shinjuku Theater Poo (Tokyo). Before that
          I played a few guerilla-style shows at record stores in
          Osaka (Forever 3, Soleil). Two times with Solmania as
          Masomania.
[SLAM]    What was the audience reaction like?
[MASONNA] There wasn't any reaction. There was some applause when
          it was over.
[SLAM]    When you played San Francisco and Los Angeles, how did
          the reaction of the audience compare to a Japanese
          audience?
[MASONNA] The audiences in Los Angeles and San Francisco were
          really lively. It was easy to perform live in those
          places. Especially in San Francisco, actually it was in
          Berkeley. It felt good to play there. A live recording
          from that show appears on the CD called _Noski In Ana_.
          American audiences are much better than Japanese
          audiences.
[SLAM]    Osaka underground bands are well known in places like New
          York and Los Angeles. How do you feel about that?
[MASONNA] I think it's a good thing. I want to support more and
          more American bands who are interested in Masonna when
          they come to Japan. Please contact me.
[SLAM]    What foreign noise artists do you like?
[MASONNA] I don't like noise.
[SLAM]    Besides Masonna, what other bands are you active in?
[MASONNA] The Bustmonsters, Flying Testicle, Christine 23 Onna,
          Kinkakuji, and Yama's.
[SLAM]    Can you tell us how your performance differs in each one
          of those bands?
[MASONNA] The Bustmonsters are a rock band (Members include
          Solmania, Monde Bruits, Merzbrow, and others). I'm the
          vocalist. Flying Testicle is a studio project with
          Merzbrow. Kinkakuji (Temple of the Golden Pavillion) is
          also a studio project. Christine 23 Onna is Psychedelic.
          Yama's include Yamatsuka Eye and Yamamoto Seiichi from
          the Boredoms. There's no concept.
[SLAM]    What is the most recent album you bought?
[MASONNA] Sera Masanori and Twist.
[SLAM]    Who designed the cover to _Mademoiselle Anne Sanglante Ou
          Notre Nymphomanie Aureole_?
[MASONNA] Ohno of Solmania made it on a Macintosh.
[SLAM]    Can you give me a list of everything, including singles
          and compilation tracks--you have released up until now?
[MASONNA] I'm sorry. I don't really remember them very well. Check
          _Bananafish_.

=================================================================
TITLE: Kiss Mint: Wake Up (CANDY)
ARTIST: Glica
Kiss Mint is the name of a whole series of gums put out by Glica
that are designed for losers on the go. This type of Kiss Mint has
"Tiny capsules containing caffeine shake off your drowsiness";
sounds neat, huh?  Not really. It's flavor is chalkish, and while
you can see the tiny caffeine capsules, I'll be damned if I even
felt their effect. Maybe my tolerance level for caffeine has been
heightened since I became a coffee fiend, but even 4 sticks of this
gum didn't shake off my drowsiness at all. In fact, I fell asleep
about 30 minutes later. This junk definitely doesn't deliver the
goods. But I do have to give Glica extra brownie points for cool
packaging. The gum comes in a resealable little wallet that allows
you to carry this ineffective crap around without crushing the gum
inside.

=================================================================
TITLE: Picasso and the Weeping Women (EXHIBIT)
ARTIST: Pablo Picasso
ADDRESS: Metropolitan Museum of Art (It's that big museum on the
West side of Central Park. Central Park is that big patch of green
that's stuck in the middle of Manhattan. Manhattan is a big island
that is part of a big city that known as New York City. "You will
never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy," said Obi
Wan.)
A whole exhibit devoted to the loves of Picasso?  An absolute must
see. All in all, it was a pretty neat but as I strolled through the
exhibit, and read through the accompanying guide booklet, I was
blown away by the irritating overuse of language used to describe
the works and their history. Hyperbole and bullshit in "fine" art
descriptions is a huge turn-off to me. It seems to me that such
language is used merely for the pretention factor. Uggh. Just shut
up, and tell me the facts; title, subject, date, medium, etc.
Sprinkling overwrought art-school adjectives and arm-chair over-
analyses all over the damn place is just not all that impressive.
But I'm ranting. Back to the exhibit.
     Olga Koklova was a Russian dancer that Pablo met in 1917 and
eventually married in 1918. Almost ten years later, the
relationship started to stink on ice, as the booklet describes: 
"The monstrous screaming female heads that Picasso painted between
1927 and 1930 reflect the increasing and violent tensions of their
alienation."  Do we really need this to be explained to us?  Isn't
pretty obvious that when someone starts to portray their marriage
partner as a "monstrous screaming female head" that the thrill is
_definitely_ gone. But Pablo was still on the prowl.
     Marie-Therese Walter was his next big fling. He was 45 when he
hooked up with this 17 year old french schoolgirl. Is it any wonder
that, as the booklet tells us, "She offered calm as well as
ecstasy."  Hmmm. I'd say the "calm" and the "ecstasy" were
absolutely intertwined and inseparable; physically and otherwise.
Heck the old dog even had a lovechild with her; his second child,
Maya. It's no wonder that all of his paintings of her were
beautiful, calm and peaceful. But a relationship based on one
thing--that "thing" being sex--wasn't going to last. So he moved
on.
     Theodora Marlovitch--more commonly known as Dora Maar--was his
last, and most fulfilling relationship. "None of his previous
companions had been as intellectually alert," the booklet tells us.
Guess that's the nice way of saying that all of his other consorts
were airheads. But who am I to say anything.

=================================================================
TITLE: Carmel: Milk Taste (CANDY)
ARTIST: Toys Co., Ltd.
"Carmel: Milk Taste"?  Isn't that like saying, "Beef: Meat Taste"? 
Oh, whatever. First off, the carmel candy that comes in this thing
is nothing to die for. It's pretty average if you ask me. But this
product wins loads of kudos for its neat-o, retro, old time, post-
World War II, Japanese tin toy based packaging.
     The candy comes in a drawer that slides out of a small, well
designed and printed box. Flipping open the box reveals a neat
panoramic picture of a robot driving his chic--and sporty--Space
Patrol tin car across the moon. I kid you people not when I say his
face has the frisky and wily look of a sly robot who's cruising the
moon for some hot-to-trot tin. And in the area just below that
there are three small cut-outs of robots that you can punch out and
bend up, to make this a package a three-dimensional diorama. A fun
and creative distraction. Too bad the candy is so plain and bland;
caramel with a lot of packaging style and no sugar substance.

=================================================================
TITLE: I Love You But.../These Boots Were Made for Walking (7"
SINGLE)
ARTIST: Fifth Column/Trailer Queen
ADDRESS: Dark Beloved Cloud (5-16 47th Road, #3L, Long Island City,
NY 11101)
PRICE: It goes for $3.00 post paid.
Cover song-o-rama on this thing. I love Fifth Column, and they do
a great job covering _I Love You But..._, the song that Ann
Margaret (or Margrock, depending on your cultural lexicon) made
famous. Slightly more rockin' than the original, but it still
retains the original's groovy and bouncy guitar riffs. Total shimmy
city on this track. Too bad the same can't said about Trailer
Queen's cover of Nancy Sinatra's _These Boots Were Made For
Walking_. Sounds way to loud and crunchy, not to mention that it
doesn't have enough of the original's swingin' bass-line. Suck city
on that one.

=================================================================
TITLE: EVE Chewing Gum (CANDY)
ARTIST: Lotte
This stuff sucks. You know your in trouble when an edible food-like
product has the phrase "Memories of your Elegant Fragrance" written
on it. Uggh!  A chewable product that's supposed to remind you of
"Elegant Fragrance"?  Bleagh!  This chewing gum smells like cheap
drug store makeup!  I bet you can only imagine what this stuff
_tastes_ like. It's been a long time since I felt like scraping my
tongue in a desperate attempt at getting rid of a bad taste. The
last time was a year or so back when I almost swallowed a fly that
flew in my mouth while I was riding my bike. Frankly, I'd rather
chew on a fly--or any kind of bug--before chewing another piece of
this crap.

=================================================================
TITLE: Mars Audiac Quintet (CD)
ARTIST: Stereolab
ADDRESS: Elektra put this thing out. Do you need a map?
PRICE: I paid $9.99.
I love Stereolab to death, but this album sounds like it was pumped
out and recorded at gun-point. All of the tracks are pretty
standard Stereolab fare. If anything, many of the tracks seem as if
they were half baked overs from their last full-length album,
_Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements_.
     For example, _Transporte Sans Boucher_ has a rhythm thing
going that's pretty reminiscent of _Analogue Rock_. _Outer
Accelerator_ has a poppy melody that sounds like it came straight
off of the first half of _Jenny Ondioline_. The list goes on and on
and on and on and on. Oh well. I guess some Stereolab is better
than none Stereolab. Nah. Who am I kidding. This thing sucks.

=================================================================
TITLE: Pingu (CANDY)
ARTIST: Morinaga
You wanna know what this chocolate is like?  Well let me ramble on
like and old man, and I think you'll get the picture.
     A pal of mine needed some help copying stuff at the local
Kinko's. I was the guy who had to lay the pages out on the machine
and make sure everything was a-okay. I was getting hungry, and let
my pal know it. Like Felix pulling junk out of his bag of tricks,
my pal pulled out this stuff. It looked cute; little chocolate
penguins sitting in a plastic tray. How bad could it be? Read on,
true believers.
     In the middle of copying I ripped it open, and tried to eat
some of them. What a pain _that_ was. The chocolate wasn't exactly
melted, but it wasn't exactly hardened. Needless to say I couldn't
pop _any_ of them fully out of the tray. It had taken on the
consistency of sun-heated window caulk. But after putzing around a
bit I managed to snag a small bite of it anyway; hunger makes you
desperate. Desperate and stupid.
     Uggh, I wanted to puke. To say this stuff sucks is an
understatement. The stuff was so bad that I had to stop copying,
and literally get out of the store and toss this crud into the
garbage. Hopefully some rat ate it and died as a result.

=================================================================
TITLE: Starduster (CD)
ARTIST: Sleepyhead
ADDRESS: Homestead Records (150 West 28th Street, Suite 501-OP, New
York, NY 10001)
PRICE: I forgot. Send a S.A.S.E. for a catalog.
So everybody is telling me "Get this thing!  Get this thing! It's
great."  So I bought this thing and well, ummm, it just doesn't
work for me. Some songs on this album are decent and fun, like
_Starduster_ and _Punk Rock City U.S.A._, but for the most part I
was bored to tears. As a whole, it just seems to be slightly
undeveloped and a tad too simple. And considering that Sleepyhead
puts on some pretty decent live shows, I kinda feel jilted by this
album. Oh well.

=================================================================
TITLE: Lloyd Dangle (PERSON)
ARTIST: Lloyd Dangle
ADDRESS: Drawn & Quarterly Publications (5550 Jeanne Mance Street,
Number 16, Montreal, Quebec, H2V 4K6, CANADA)
You probably know Lloyd's work from his weekly comic strip,
_Troubletown_. And if you don't know him from that, then maybe
you've seen his full-size comic-book, _Dangle_. No?  You don't know
what I'm talking about?  Well, what else can I say?  His material
is really funny and neat to read. The _Troubletown_ strips are
political without being preachy and the _Dangle_ comic books are
personal without being annoyingly self-indulgent. If you want to
get an idea of what his stuff is like, you can pick up the latest
issue (that's issue number 3, FYI) of _Dangle_, from your local
comic shop. If they don't have it, you can get a copy by sending a
measly portion of your hard earned cash ($2.95 U.S./$3.50 CANADA)
to _Drawn & Quarterly_. This interview was done in July, 1994.
[SLAM]    How did you get into comics?
[L.D.]    Let's see, how did I get into comics?  Well, I always
          drew a lot. I was always involved in art when I was in
          school. And I tended to want to tell stories and make fun
          of people. Make fun of my teachers and stuff. Comics
          seemed to be something that worked for me and it was fun
          and I started doing satirical stuff in my high school
          paper and I worked on a comic magazine in college at the
          University of Michigan, called _The Gargoyle_. Next thing
          you know, it's ten years later and I've ended up getting
          a lot of stuff published. It's worked out pretty good for
          me.
[SLAM]    Nowadays, what do you concentrate on more?  The comic
          book, _Dangle_, or the strip, _Troubletown_?
[L.D.]    I do the strip every week so that's pretty much a
          constant part of my life. With the comic book, I go on a
          little comic book creativity spree for a few months where
          I work on an issue. I just finished one. But since I do
          the strip every week, it's right there in my face all of
          the time. I work on very current issues with
          _Troubletown_, so that's pretty much my outlet.
[SLAM]    Over here in New York City, I read it when it runs in
          _The New York Press_. How many other papers have it?
[L.D.]    It's in about 10 papers now.
[SLAM]    When did you start doing _Troubletown_?
[L.D.]    I started doing it in 1989 in the _San Francisco Bay
          Guardian_, and for a long time I didn't really promote
          it; I just ran it in the _Guardian_. Then starting last
          fall, I did a big promotion of the strips, and I ended up
          getting it in a few more papers. And now, _Troubletown_
          is sort of rolling along and people are calling me more
          and more about it. I'm going to do another promotion and
          hopefully I'll be able to pick up a few more outlets.
[SLAM]    As far as the comic book (_Dangle_) goes, one thing I
          remember is the detail in the diorama on the cover of the
          first issue. It's a pretty accurate rendition of the
          beach in Coney Island. Did you live in Brooklyn?
[L.D.]    I lived in New York for three years right when I was out
          of college and spent a lot of time out at Coney Island
          with my friends. I really liked that place a lot. I
          decided I'd build a little shrine to it. It was a papier-
          mache sculpture. I always liked those diorama exhibits at
          natural history museums. The ones where the diorama is
          only about three feet deep but the background curves up
          and becomes a horizon. So I built it just like that.
[SLAM]    Neat!
[L.D.]    Yeah, but it kept getting bigger and bigger. I built the
          little man, who is about a foot tall and then I thought,
          the background would only have to be three feet high. And
          then as I built it, and started looking at it, I realized
          that it wasn't going to photograph right. So I was going
          to have to make the sky larger. And it just started to
          get larger and larger. So it ended up standing about 4
          feet tall with the backdrop and everything.
[SLAM]    Do you still have it?
[L.D.]    No.
[SLAM]    What happened to it?
[L.D.]    Well it had lots of pieces of broken glass and stuff
          collaged all over it. And there little animals and bugs
          living in there. Eventually, it was all covered with
          spider-webs. Not to mention, I was always walking around
          my studio and stepping over it and I just said "Forget
          it. I gotta get rid of this thing."
[SLAM]    Where did it eventually end up?
[L.D.]    This comic store in Berkeley had it in their window for
          a while and it was pretty funny because the cats at the
          store would sleep on all of the broken glass and stuff.
          They liked it.
[SLAM]    That's weird. They didn't get hurt or anything?
[L.D.]    No. You'd see them scratching themselves, though. And
          there were these fake hypodermic needles sticking up out
          of the surf and the cats would rub their necks against
          them.
[SLAM]    That's so weird. What a bunch of sick cats...
[L.D.]    Well, I guess they work in comic store so what can you
          expect? They're reading comics all day, so they become
          strange.
[SLAM]    I remember in the first issue there was a story about you
          playing hookey from a paste-up job just to go hang out in
          Coney Island. Did you do that a lot?
[L.D.]    Yeah. At the time, I wasn't really publishing any comics
          when I lived in New York. I was trying to, but I was too
          young and frazzled and I was just trying to make a
          living. Doing paste-up work, at the time, was a great way
          of getting by if you didn't have too many skills. I mean,
          paste-up is a skill in itself. There were lots of people
          who played in bands and stuff and they would have paste-
          up jobs, or cartoonists would have paste-up jobs, and it
          was really a fun existence. You could make fairly good
          money doing it. So I would do that, and every now and
          then me and some friends that I worked with would take
          off and head out to Coney Island. Coney Island being a
          pretty fun, cheap, place to go.
[SLAM]    Around what year was that?
[L.D.]    I lived in New York City between 1983 and 1986. I imagine
          everything out on the east coast is desktop published
          now?
[SLAM]    Yup. Pretty much.
[L.D.]    Because the East Coast got into it a little slower than
          the magazines out here. The magazines out here were going
          desktop pretty early in the game.
[SLAM]    I guess that has to do with Silicon Valley and all the
          software development companies being out there.
[L.D.]    Yeah. I did a funny thing. I had a paste-up job at
          _MacWorld_ magazine when I first moved out to the West
          Coast. They weren't totally desktop at the time and I
          still needed a day job, so I was doing paste-up there. So
          I got to see them totally phase me out because of desktop
          publishing. One of the last things I did was take all of
          the paste-up tools and pieced together a little museum in
          my cubicle devoted to paste-up.
[SLAM]    Waxers and things like that?
[L.D.]    I had big pieces of wax hanging down. I called them wax
          boogers and I tagged a note that said "Paste-up artists
          in the 1980s used to eat this as a food supplement." 
          (laughs.)  And it's all still there. They still have the
          museum up in the office.
[SLAM]    Sounds like museums influence your stuff. Like when you
          were talking about making the diorama about Coney Island
          and now making the little museum archiving the tools of
          paste-up artists.
[L.D.]    Hmmm. Maybe I should be in museum studies instead of
          comics?
[SLAM]    Just an observation.
[L.D.]    Maybe I should try some taxidermy. (laughs.)
[SLAM]    Well you can go get some cats. Or come back to New York
          and get some rats. (laughs.)  On to other things. Were
          you ever a bike messenger?  There are references to
          cycling and bike messengers all over your stuff.
[L.D.]    Well, I've always ridden a bike. When I lived in New
          York, I had a bike but I didn't ride it at all, at first.
          I came from Michigan, and riding a bike in Michigan and
          riding a bike in New York City are totally different
          things. I was terrified to ride a bike in New York City.
          But then I started doing it and I just got so hooked on
          the exhilaration of it. Next thing you know, I was just
          all over the place on my bike. Then I just started to
          observe the bike messengers. I never actually did any
          messenger work, except for delivering my own
          illustrations and stuff to places. But I ended up, sort
          of hanging around bike messengers and picking up what
          they're talking about. Just overhearing them.
[SLAM]    The lingo is great. I almost did it, but I don't have the
          guts to do it out here in New York City. It's just too
          crazy here.
[L.D.]    Bike messengers out here in San Francisco are a little
          bit different than the New York City ones. But they're
          just as intense. They're almost like pirates.
[SLAM]    Do they weave in and out of traffic like crazy and yell
          at pedestrians like the ones here in New York City?
[L.D.]    Out here they have a reputation for running over
          pedestrians and stuff--the same like New York City--but
          they have a whole different style. They're more grunged
          out and real kinda hippie influenced. To me, bike
          messengers are exactly like pirates. If they had eye-
          patches, bandannas or even hooks on their arms they'd be
          perfect.
[SLAM]    So they're two-wheeled traffic pirates. Getting your
          stuff to you, while breaking every law and endangering
          lives of innocent pedestrians along the way.
[L.D.]    (laughs.)
[SLAM]    Back to comics. What's the reader response to your stuff.
[L.D.]    I get a ton of really positive response. But I do have
          some psychos who write to me. I have a bunch of Rush
          Limbaugh fanatics who are really writing some hateful
          stuff to me. But I just figure, hey, they're crazy.
[SLAM]    What do they write?
[L.D.]    They refer to specific things. I can't even understand it
          half the time. It's like they write in this insider
          language that they all understand amongst themselves I
          guess. To me, it doesn't make any sense.
[SLAM]    Back to art. How do you feel about technology's influence
          in comics?
[L.D.]    One thing that I'm getting tired of is all of the comic
          artists that are using computerized color. Hardly anybody
          does any hand-coloring or painting on their work. It
          seems like they do a mock up, and they send it off to
          some computer place that produces that "perfect" kind of
          computer color. And the thing is, that if they did it
          themselves--even on a computer--there would be little
          touches. They would develop their own way of dealing with
          the computer, and their would be certain trademarks and
          ways you'd be able to tell that the artist did it their
          own way. They may have used a computer, but it would have
          their specific style. It bothers me and bores me that
          every time a pick up a comic that was colored on a
          computer it looks like it was done by the same person.
[SLAM]    Yeah, it's so canned.
[L.D.]    And it always has those gradients, which really bug me.
          I feel funny when a cartoonist shows me the brand new
          cover they've done and the color is entirely computer
          generated. They're very proud of it and they can't
          believe how the computer is so wonderful, and I don't
          want to tell them I don't like their cover. Generally I
          might like the artwork a lot, but when I see that canned
          color I just think that there has to be a million
          different ways to do color, even on a computer or by
          hand. But there's more than one way to do it, so why do
          it the exact same way everybody else is doing it.
[SLAM]    Some people are taking the easy way out. People just get
          too lazy.
[L.D.]    Yeah, like the computer is doing all the work.
[SLAM]    Well, I also noticed when I picked up number three, you
          did another 3-D cover thing. The guy with the pen, and
          the hand kinda jumping off of the page. It's subtle, but
          it's cool.
[L.D.]    It was photographed. I did a watercolor, and I cut out
          the part of the watercolor of the man with the hand and
          put it in front of another painting. I like doing things
          like that. It gives it an interesting quality.
[SLAM]    It looks like a person, rather than a machine, did it.
          Even on the insides, the pen strokes and weight of the
          lines and such. That has the same effect.
[L.D.]    You should see how much cutting and pasting I do on my
          stuff. The originals _really_ look hand-made. When I'm
          working on a drawing, if I don't like the way the face
          looks, I'll just cut out another face and stick it on.
          Basically, I just get into a frenzy, and I get all the
          tools out.
[SLAM]    All the blades, glue and tape come out of the drawers, I
          guess. Sometimes when I'm reading your stuff, I notice a
          lot of the cuts. Near word balloons and such.
[L.D.]    If you look closely, you'll be able to tell. Or you might
          notice a big cut line going across the middle of a
          drawing sometimes, but it usually matched up pretty good.
[SLAM]    Anything else you want to tell the world. Like should
          they send you money?
[L.D.]    Yeah, send me money. (laughs). Also, one of these days
          I'll get a modem and I'll be right there on the Internet
          with you.
[SLAM]    One of these days...
[L.D.]    Let's see what do I have to get next. Hmmm. A modem. Then
          I have to get cable T.V. so I can watch all of the
          "important" things on MTV.

+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| This was SUPER STUPID SLAMBOOK #5 (AUGUST 1994)               |
| All contents (c) 1994 Jack Szwergold, all rights reserved.    |
| And after saying all that, I realize that this is an elec-    |
| tronic zine, which by the nature of it's medium, allows it to |
| be  duplicated with  little or no  effort. So this is to let  |
| you know that distribution is free. You can copy and send it  |
| to as many people and places as you want. But the content is  |
| mine, and plagiarism is just not a nice thing. Which is the   |
| only reason why I stuck a copyright statement on this thing.  |
| So be nice, and don't claim authorship to things you didn't   |
| write. Okay?                                                  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|                   [ DONDE ESTA SLAMBOOK? ]                    |
|                                                               |
| USENET: Each issue of the Slambook is posted to _alt.zines_,  |
|         _alt.etext_, _alt.comics.alternative_ and _alt.music. |
|         alternative_ as well as various other sundry news-    |
|         groups on the ever expanding gimmish of babble that   |
|         is known as the USENET.                               |
| GOPHER: gopher.well.sf.ca.us (Thanks to Jerod at Factsheet 5) |
| E-MAIL: For all you lazy types who don't like slumming on the |
|         USENET or playing around with gophers, you can get an |
|         e-mail subscription to the Slambook. Drop me a note   |
|         telling me you'd like to subscribe and you'll be      |
|         added to the Slambook's ultra-lame electronic-mail    |
|         distribution list. Just say please, and the deed will |
|         be done. (NOTE: I'm not a LISTSERV, and I don't       |
|         play one on TV. So please don't send me any cryptic   |
|         LISTSERVish messages, okay?  Also, if you have more   |
|         than one e-mail account, _please_ clearly state which |
|         account should receive the Slambook.)                 |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|                  [ SUBMISSION GROUNDRULES ]                   |
|                                                               |
| Be sure to remember, folks, that any and all materials sent   |
| to the Super Stupid Slambook offices will not be returned un- |
| less it is accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope.  |
| You got a problem with that?  Then meet me outside buddy, and |
| I'll kick your butt all over the asphalt with the help of my  |
| my wondrous spider-like, reflexes.                            |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|              [ I DO WINDOWS _AND_ MINI-COMICS ]               |
|                                                               |
| If you haven't even read or seen any of my minis, send me     |
| some e-mail and I'll zap you some info on them. Groovy hip-   |
| sters dig them. So do babes of all genders. Get hip to the    |
| scene daddy-o and drop me a line. And, oh yeah. Just say      |
| NO to strawberry Yoo-Hoo. Friends don't let friends drink     |
| strawberry Yoo-Hoo.                                           |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ E-MAIL ]                                 [ STANDARD MAIL ]  |
| [email-masked]                              P.O. Box 242       |
|                                            Village Station    |
|                                            New York, NY 10014 |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+