Newsgroups: rec.drugs.psychedelic

Once, somewhere in Southern Germany, my friends and I consumed purple haze
by smoking it in a water pipe and drank dried psilocybin mushrooms in a
herbal tea. We then proceeded to have a barbeque outside of our downtown
dorm in an old rustic courtyard built almost 300 years ago. An old German
woman cried out haggardly from a neighboring courtyard window something in
German that it was forbidden to grill in the courtyard because of the
horrendous smell it would give off (this was amazing because we were
cooking GERMAN sausages). I responded to this old woman in the usual
sarcastic, but quiet and collective, tone that she should just go ahead
and call the police, if she didn't have anything better to do with her
time than to make young peoples' lives miserable. Well, she did. We lived
just around the corner from the Polizei station, which also had windows
facing into the courtyard. The commander of this police branch had heard
everything from his window, as it turned out, and came out of the police
station about 10 minutes later. 

As he was pacing across the courtyard to the other side to the car (just
20m away from our bbq grill), the old woman in the window screamed out to
him about us grilling in the courtyard to which the commander responded
that it was not forbidden for us to grill there, IF we had met all the
regulations for grilling in a courtyard. They exchanged a few rows with
each other and the commander said that he would deal with the situation
promptly. 

We, as American exchange students in Germany, had no idea what regulations
needed to be met, and our German friends there weren't much help either.
We just wanted to eat our Wurst and drink a beer in peace and enjoy the
weather and sparse garden in the courtyard. He then came over to us and
began to question us in a secret service style: "Name? Wo wohnen Sie? Was
studieren Sie?" To which, we all answered honestly, but with not a little
fear. He then proceeded to tell us about all the rules and regulations for
grilling in a small downtown courtyard (water source within 20m or so,
bucket of sand, and grill 20m or so away from any cars or flammable
materials; all of which was built into the courtyard as part of the fire
department regulations, it turned out) and warned us not to be too loud or
too long with it. 

After some time, we offered him a Wurst on a roll with mustard, to which
he kindly refused, but he did decide to take us up on our offer of good
German beer. He drank his beer with us for about 20 minutes and told us
about his family and his student days, reminisced about his travels to
California and the Grand Canyon.  I knew the whole time that he knew we
were tripping off of our kites, but also noticed that he didn't give a
damn. His parting words were these, "Enjoy it now while you're young and
keep your cool about things, or else you will turn out to be like that old
bitch in the window up there." He then got into his police car and headed
out towards somewhere. We ate our Wurst, smiled up at the old woman in the
window as we were leaving (she continued to watch us the whole time we
grilled), and then went down into an old cellar which is sound proof,
turned on the Doors at full volume, smoked some more weed, turned off the
glaring overhead flourescent light and arranged small candles on the floor
and acted like we were airplanes landing on a runway. We danced a little,
talked a lot, and we didn't hurt anyone. Well, I guess not anyone, except
the pride of the old bitch who didn't get her way.

I have met him several times walking out of my dorm and always stopped and
chatted with him a little. To my surprise, I learned that I was actually
dating his German daughter! We ended up marrying and he showed me the
ropes on how to get a German license for legally growing marijuana at
home. Now we are all happy.

(Warning: many folks say that drinking alcohol with psilocybin mushrooms
can be dangerous. We knew this, and adjusted our drinking of beer to only
0.5 liters per person. The rest of the time we drank water and herbal tea
and basically did the things that healthy young people do. This story is
full of truth and embellishment, so don't believe everything you read.)