Subject: Any good reco for "How to satisfy a women and ...."

From: [email-masked] (Elf Sternberg)
Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1992 09:51:27 GMT

In article <[email-masked]>
     [email-masked] (Nick Tingle) writes:

>   I just read "The New Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort.Its excellent !
>It did gave me new thoughts and ideas about life, love and sex. This is the
>new edition which covers AIDS.

   Actually, I give a strong recommendation _against_ "The New Joy of
Sex."

   The Original, First Edition Joy of Sex (which I have in hardcover,
with personal notes in much of the margins) was a wonderfully fun book,
written in the early 1970's when swinging was a hobby persued and
enjoyed by many.  It looked as if sexual diseases were a thing of the
past, easily cured with a quick trip to the doctor if they occured at
all.

   So, it's the Nineties, and sex has become dangerous.  Potentially
fatal.  Should probably be approached with the care one usually
reserves for skydiving and bungee jumping.  The major difference
between skydiving and sex, however, is that most people like sex.
People are going to engage in sex.  And Alex Comfort should have been
careful to insure that people could engage in sex safely.  *All* sorts
of sex.

   But Alex waffled; The sections of the book on wife swapping and
swinging have vanished, only to be replaced with a section on renting
erotic videos because it's "safe."  The section on bisexual men is
still in the goddamn back of the book, in what used to be called
"Problems" and is now referrred to as "issues."  There used to be a
full page of stuff on agression play, dominance, and the like: all gone
now in the kindler and gentler 90's.

   Perhaps most troubling to me is the following:

   "Medicine is concerned about bisexuality in men because this group
could spread HIV to the general community."

   I read three pernicious ideas in that sentence:

   [1] That bisexuals spread HIV to straights from gays.
   [2] That bisexuals (and by extension, all queer folk) are separate
       from (i.e. not a part of) the general community.
   [3] That, by association, the medical establishment could care less
       about gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.

   Sorry, The New Joy of Sex is an attempt to fix what wasn't broke.  I
recommend against it.

   Better stuff to buy: "Our Bodies, Ourselves."  No, this isn't a sex
book.  But if you're a woman or if you love women, I recommend you buy
this book and read it carefully.  The newest edition is full of
wonderful data on women's health issues and concerns.  In the same
vein, you might want to consider "Man's Body: An Owner's Manual."

   For sex, I recommend Gael Greene's "Delicious Sex."  This book,
unlike "Joy," doesn't pretend to be anything more than a romping fun
list of ways to spice up your bedroom.  It's brave and it's daring and
it tells you, quite clearly, that this book wasn't written by someone
with a PhD in sex, this was written by someone who *has* sex.  Sure,
all of the examples are heterosexual, but hey, so's 90% of her
audience.  Besides, when we're talking about chests and genitals, does
it really matter what gender you pour chocolate sauce all over?

         Elf !!!  (Chocoholic with attitude)
--
Elf Sternberg.   ([email-masked])
Due to a bureaucratic error, you are offered the job of county coroner.
You seriously consider accepting the job because it offers:          __
A. Unclaimed watches and wedding rings.                              \/
B. Gold fillings and bridges.
C. Free blood.
D. A constantly changing array of new friends who aren't at all stuffy
   about what happens to their genitalia.