Some weeks ago, I honed my handyman skills by a simple repair of our dishwasher. A few days later, retelling the story aroused uncontrollable laughter.

The problem? The machine was not draining its tub of rinse water at the end of the cycle. With the service manual and web information, I popped open the sump / drain-pump area, and it looked and sounded okay. That suggested a possible clog of the drain hose. In our house, this hose is perhaps 12ft long, going under the tiled floor, between the kitchen wall and an island. If something were to go wrong with that part, replacing it would be a tricky and expensive affair. If the dishwasher pump was kaput, it could be a time-taking parts-order. So the next was to check on the integrity of the pipe from its ends, hoping that the problem was temporary.

I disconnected the kitchen drain pipe end of the hose. I wanted to see whether it could support flow powered by something other than the dishwasher pump. I figured a good quick test would be to take out the one-way valve in the dishwasher side, and blow from the other side. If I hear bubbles, the hose should be OK. The hose is old stinky rubber, about 1.5in diameter. I was too lazy to get an air compressor to blow, so I wrapped the end of the hose in cellophane and blew with my mouth. I expected some pressure would be required to get through the water in the various loops of the hose, but so I blew hard. Sure enough, some bubbles could be heard at the other end. But it took too much force, so I inferred that some sort of obstruction was likely present.

OK, how to check further – how to dislodge whatever goo might be present in the pipe? I sure as heck wasn’t going to suck in a mouthful, so it was time to get a tool. Out came our trusty, noisy, old wet/dry shop-vacuum. It sucks (in a good way) and doesn’t mind getting dirty. Only problem is that its input hose is about twice the diameter of the dishwasher’s, so when the little pipe was inserted into the big hose end, there was a huge gap, making suction a bit of wishful thinking. The solution was to construct a seal – lips as it were – from duct tape. About a yard of the stuff, rolled on in overlapping loops, fixed the little pipe in place within the big one.

The moment of truth arrived. Noisy vacuum on – suction began. Dishwasher on – pressure began. Listening intently, one could hear a little spurt of goo coming through, then another. Couldn’t stop now. The dishwasher waste cycle was triggered again and again, each time with more of the water & clog being pushed through the pipe. We topped up the dishwasher tub to keep the machines working to flush the pipe again and again, more and more, till it flowed free & easy.

We were done. The little pipe was removed from the vacuum hose, everything reconnected, cleaned up.

For some strange reason, the dishwasher lit a cigarette, and just sat there with a goofy grin.