Ontario Liberal minister Michael Bryant has found the secret to immortality. And it involves one of my favorite toys: handguns!

Yes, every human currently alive will stay alive, forever, if guns cease to exist. Good riddance, funeral parlors, cemetaries, undertakers, and overachievers. Hello, steep medical costs for the elderly, discontinuation of automatic retirement age, and a special big hello to the impending real estate crunch.
Or maybe, Bryant is only promising to outlaw funerals, not death. Oh, that stinks.